When it comes to relationships with narcissistic individuals, things can get complicated very quickly. The very nature of narcissism makes it difficult for these individuals to really understand and care about other people’s needs, wants and feelings. The situation can be even more challenging when the narcissist knows that someone loves them, as they may use this to their advantage and become even more manipulative or abusive. This article will explore the danger signs that can arise when a narcissist knows that you love them, and what you can do to protect yourself.
What is narcissism?
Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a constant need for admiration and attention. People with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) tend to have an exaggerated sense of their own abilities and achievements, and they may belittle or criticize others in order to boost their own self-esteem. They may also have difficulty with relationships, as they struggle to relate to others on a deep emotional level.
What are the different types of narcissism?
There are two main types of narcissism: grandiose narcissism and vulnerable narcissism. Grandiose narcissists tend to be more overtly narcissistic and display a more exaggerated sense of self-importance. Vulnerable narcissists tend to be more covert and may exhibit more insecurities or need for attention.
The danger signs of loving a narcissist
When a narcissist knows that you love them, they may use this to their advantage in a number of ways. Here are some of the danger signs to watch out for:
They become even more self-absorbed
A narcissist who knows you love them may become even more self-absorbed and focused on their own needs and wants. They may ignore your needs and feelings entirely, or they may only pay attention to you in order to use you for their own purposes.
They start to manipulate you more
Narcissists are experts at manipulation and control. When they know you love them, they may use this as a way to control you even more. They may use guilt, fear, or other tactics to get you to do what they want, or they may constantly try to make you feel like you are at fault for everything that goes wrong in the relationship.
They become abusive
In some cases, a narcissist who knows you love them may become physically or emotionally abusive. They may try to control you with threats or violence, or they may constantly belittle or criticize you.
They try to isolate you
Narcissists may try to isolate their partners from friends and family members in order to maintain control over them. They may make it difficult for you to spend time with people you care about, or they may try to convince you that other people are not good for you.
They gaslight you
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where the abuser makes the victim question their own sanity or perception of reality. A narcissist who knows you love them may use gaslighting to manipulate you and make you doubt your own feelings and experiences.
Protecting yourself from a narcissist
If you suspect that you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it is important to take steps to protect yourself. Here are some strategies that may be helpful:
Set boundaries
It is important to set clear boundaries with a narcissistic partner. Let them know what is and is not acceptable behavior, and stick to your boundaries even if they try to push you to change them.
Get support
It can be helpful to seek support from professionals or friends and family members who can help you navigate the challenges of being in a relationship with a narcissist.
Validate your own feelings
One of the things that narcissists do best is to make you doubt your own feelings and experiences. It is important to validate your own emotions and trust your own instincts, even if your partner is trying to make you feel like you are wrong.
Consider leaving the relationship
In some cases, it may be necessary to leave a relationship with a narcissistic partner in order to protect yourself. This can be a difficult decision to make, but it may ultimately lead to a healthier and more fulfilling life.
Conclusion
Loving a narcissist can be a complicated and difficult experience. When a narcissist knows that you love them, they may become even more manipulative and abusive. It is important to take steps to protect yourself and to seek support from friends, family members, or professionals if necessary. Remember that you deserve to be treated with love, respect and kindness, and that you do not have to put up with abusive or manipulative behavior from anyone.
Common Questions and Answers
- What causes narcissism?
- Can narcissism be treated?
- Can a narcissist change?
- Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with a narcissist?
- What are some warning signs of narcissism?
The exact cause of narcissism is not known, but it is believed to be a combination of environmental and genetic factors.
There is no cure for narcissism, but therapy may help individuals with narcissistic tendencies to develop greater insight and empathy for others.
It may be difficult for a narcissist to change, as the disorder is deeply ingrained in their personality. However, with therapy and a willingness to change, some narcissists may be able to develop more empathetic behaviors.
It is possible to have a relationship with a narcissist, but it may be challenging and require a great deal of work to maintain a healthy dynamic.
Some warning signs of narcissism include a grandiose sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, a constant need for attention and admiration, and a tendency to belittle or criticize others.
References
1. American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.).
2. Rosenthal, S. A., & Hooley, J. M. (2019). Pathological narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. Annual review of clinical psychology, 15, 301-325.
3. Pincus, A. L., & Lukowitsky, M. R. (2010). Pathological narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. Annual review of clinical psychology, 6, 421-446.