As society becomes more accepting of LGBTQ individuals, the community itself is becoming more diverse and expanding. One group that is gaining more visibility is those who identify as polyamorous. But what does poly mean in LGBTQ? In this guide, we will explore the meaning of poly, how it differs from other terms such as monogamous, and answer some common questions about polyamory.
What Does Poly Mean?
Poly, in the context of LGBTQ, refers to a type of relationship in which individuals have multiple partners, with the agreement and consent of all involved. This is different from traditional monogamous relationships in which an individual is committed to only one partner. It’s important to note that poly individuals may still identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or another sexual orientation.
Polyamory vs. Open Relationships
While frequently used interchangeably, there is a difference between polyamory and open relationships. Open relationships refer to relationships in which partners are allowed to form sexual relationships with others outside of the partnership, without necessarily forming a romantic connection. Polyamorous relationships, on the other hand, allow for multiple romantic connections and emotional attachments.
Relationship Structures in Polyamory
Polyamorous relationships can come in many forms, with each partner potentially having different preferences and boundaries. Some polyamorous relationships involve a triad, where three individuals are in a mutually committed relationship, while others involve a network of relationships between different partners. Other poly individuals may prefer to have one primary partner, with other partners having a more secondary role in their life. Communication and open discussion are essential to healthy polyamorous relationships.
Common Misconceptions About Polyamory
It’s Just Cheating
One of the biggest misconceptions about polyamory is that it’s just another form of cheating. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth. In a polyamorous relationship, all partners are aware of and have agreed to the multiple relationships. Cheating, on the other hand, implies deception and betrayal.
It’s Just for Sex
While open relationships allow for sexual exploration outside of the partnership, polyamory involves emotional connections as well. Partners in a polyamorous relationship form bonds and attachments with one another, just as they would in a monogamous relationship.
It’s Not Possible to Love More Than One Person at the Same Time
Another common misconception about polyamory is that it’s not possible to love more than one person at the same time. However, this is simply not true. Love is not a finite resource, and individuals are capable of forming strong emotional connections with multiple people at once.
How to Start a Polyamorous Relationship
Be Honest and Communicate
As with any relationship, open and honest communication is essential to making polyamory work. All involved partners must be aware of and agree to the structure of the relationship, including boundaries and expectations. It’s also important to continually communicate and check-in with all partners to ensure everyone is on the same page.
Consider the Emotions Involved
While polyamorous relationships can be fulfilling and rewarding, they also come with unique emotional challenges. Individuals need to be prepared to handle feelings of jealousy or insecurity, and be comfortable with the idea of their partner forming emotional connections outside of the partnership.
Be Prepared for Societal Judgement
Unfortunately, society can still be judgemental towards those in non-traditional relationships. It’s important to have a strong support system and be prepared to stand up for oneself and one’s partners if faced with negativity or discrimination.
The Benefits of Polyamory
Increased Emotional Connection
Having multiple partners can lead to increased emotional intimacy and connection, as individuals have the opportunity to form deep bonds with several people.
Elimination of Jealousy
In a traditional monogamous relationship, jealousy can often arise due to feelings of possessiveness over one’s partner. However, in a polyamorous relationship, all partners are aware of and consenting to multiple relationships, reducing feelings of jealousy and possessiveness.
Greater Freedom and Variety
For individuals who feel restricted or unfulfilled by traditional monogamous relationships, polyamory may offer greater freedom and the ability to explore different types of relationships.
Conclusion
Polyamory is a type of non-traditional relationship in which individuals have multiple partners, with the agreement and consent of all involved. It’s important to remember that poly individuals may still identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or another sexual orientation. Communication and open discussion are essential to healthy polyamorous relationships, and individuals should be prepared for the unique emotional challenges that may arise. Despite the challenges, polyamory can offer increased emotional connection, elimination of jealousy, and greater freedom and variety in relationships.
Common Questions and Answers
- What’s the difference between swinging and polyamory?
Swinging refers to a type of open relationship in which partners engage in sexual activities with others outside of the partnership. Polyamory allows for multiple romantic connections and emotional attachments. - Can polyamorous relationships still involve marriage?
Yes, polyamorous relationships can still involve marriage, but the laws around polyamorous marriage can be complicated and vary by state. - Is polyamory more common in the LGBTQ community?
Polyamory is not more common in the LGBTQ community, but it is gaining more visibility within the community. - Do all partners in a polyamorous relationship have to be involved with each other?
No, not all partners in a polyamorous relationship have to be involved with each other. Some poly relationships involve just two individuals who are involved with other partners outside of the primary relationship.
References:
Barker, M. (2018). The Psychology of Non-Monogamy: A Guide to the Science and Practical Advice. Thorsons.
Goldberg, S. (2015). Issues in psychotherapy with polyamorous clients.
Sheff, E. (2017). The polyamorists next door: Inside multiple-partner relationships and families. Rowman & Littlefield.