How to Tell a Guy You Want More Conversation

Communication is an essential component of any healthy relationship. Whether you are in a budding romance or a long-term commitment, you need to be able to share your thoughts, feelings, and ideas with your partner. Sometimes, you may feel like you need to have more conversations with your guy, but you don’t know how to bring it up. It can be awkward to initiate such a conversation, but it is necessary if you want to deepen your connection. Here are some tips on how to tell a guy you want more conversation.

Understand Why You Want More Conversation

The first step to telling a guy that you want more conversation is to understand why you want it. Do you feel like you are not connecting with him on a deeper level? Are you longing for emotional intimacy that you are not getting? Do you want to share more of your life with him? Knowing why you want more conversation will help you communicate your needs more effectively.

Identify What You Want to Talk About

Once you understand why you want more conversation, you need to identify what you want to talk about. Do you want to share your hopes and dreams? Do you want to discuss current events? Do you want to talk about your relationship and how it is progressing? Having a clear idea of what you want to talk about will help you guide the conversation.

Choose the Right Timing

When it comes to having a meaningful conversation, timing is everything. You don’t want to approach your guy with your needs when he is distracted or busy. Choose a moment when you both have some downtime, like after dinner or on the weekend. Pick a time when you are both relaxed and can give each other your undivided attention.

Choose the Right Setting

In addition to timing, the setting is also important when it comes to having a conversation. You want to choose a place where you can be comfortable and relaxed. If you are in a noisy, crowded place, you may have trouble hearing each other. Choose a quiet spot where you can talk without any distractions.

Start the Conversation in a Non-Threatening Way

When you want to have a conversation, try to be gentle and non-threatening. Don’t start by accusing your guy of ignoring you or not talking to you enough. Instead, start with a positive statement like, “I really enjoy spending time with you.” Then, move on to explaining that you want to deepen your connection.

Be Honest and Direct

When you are having the conversation, be honest and direct about your needs. Don’t beat around the bush or hint at what you want. Say it directly and clearly. For example, “I would love to talk more about our relationship and where it’s heading.”

Listen to His Response

When you initiate a conversation, it is important to listen to your guy’s response. He may not be aware that you are seeking more conversation or he may have his own concerns. Listen to what he has to say and try to understand his perspective.

Make a Plan to Follow Up

After you have had the initial conversation, make a plan to follow up. Decide on a time and place to have another conversation. This will show your guy that you are serious about deepening your connection and that you are willing to put in the effort to make it happen.


Telling a guy that you want more conversation can be nerve-wracking, but it is important for your relationship. By understanding your needs, choosing the right time and place, being honest and direct, and listening to his response, you can deepen your connection and build a stronger relationship.


  • Q: What if my guy doesn’t want to have more conversations?
  • A: It is important to listen to his response and understand his perspective. If he is not interested in having more conversation, it may be a sign that you are not compatible.
  • Q: What if I am afraid to initiate the conversation?
  • A: It is natural to feel nervous, but remember that communication is key to a healthy relationship. Take a deep breath and be honest about your needs.
  • Q: How can I make sure my guy is really listening to me?
  • A: Encourage him to ask questions and engage in the conversation. Make sure you are both fully present and focused on the conversation.
  • Q: Should I have the conversation in person or over the phone?
  • A: It is always better to have important conversations in person, as this allows for nonverbal communication and a deeper emotional connection.


1. Gottman, J. M., & Driver, J. L. (2020). Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. Workman Publishing.

2. Fanning, P. (2015). Messages: The Communication Skills Book. New Harbinger Publications.

3. Uzzi, B. (2021). Leadership Is Language: The Hidden Power of What You Say and What You Don’t. HarperBusiness.

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