How to See Yourself Through Others’ Eyes

Understanding how others perceive us can be difficult. We often see ourselves differently from how others see us. Some people may view us positively, while others may view us negatively.

It’s essential to learn to see yourself through other people’s eyes, as it can help you build better relationships, improve your communication, and enhance your self-awareness. In this article, we’ll discuss several ways to see yourself through other people’s eyes.

Become Self-Aware

Before you can learn how others perceive you, you need to have a clear understanding of yourself. Being self-aware means understanding your strengths, weaknesses, motives, and behaviors. It allows you to recognize how your actions affect others and how their actions impact you.

Start by reflecting on your behaviors and how they affect your relationships. Think about instances where others may have reacted negatively to your actions or have expressed frustration with you. This reflection can help you identify behaviors that might be perceived as negative, allowing you to take steps to improve.

Ask for Feedback

One of the easiest ways to learn how others see you is to ask for feedback. Feedback from others can be valuable in helping you identify areas where you excel and areas you need to work on. It also provides you with the opportunity to learn how others perceive you, allowing you to make changes to improve your relationships and communication.

When asking for feedback, be open to hearing both positive and negative comments. Avoid becoming defensive, and take the feedback with an open mind, processing it before responding.

Observe Non-Verbal Cues

Body language is an essential aspect of communication and can convey a lot more than words. The way we hold ourselves, our facial expressions, and our tone of voice can all convey emotions and feelings that might not be captured by words alone.

Observe the non-verbal cues of those around you. Notice how they react to you and how you react to them. For example, if someone avoids eye contact or crosses their arms when speaking with you, it may indicate discomfort. In contrast, making eye contact and leaning forward can indicate interest and engagement.

Put Yourself in Their Shoes

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes can help you understand their perspective and how they see you. It can also help you develop better communication and relationships.

Consider what the other person may be feeling or thinking. Try to see the situation from their perspective and understand the reasons for their actions. Doing so can help you respond to them more effectively and with greater empathy.

Seek Out Diverse Relationships

Having relationships with people of different ages, races, genders, and backgrounds can provide you with different perspectives and help you develop a better understanding of how others see you. It can also help you develop cross-cultural communication skills and reduce prejudice.

Seek out relationships with people who possess different experiences and viewpoints than your own. Listen to their stories and perspectives, and create opportunities for open and honest dialogue.

Practice Active Listening

Active listening is the ability to fully concentrate, understand, and respond to the speaker. It involves both verbal and nonverbal communications and requires an attentive and engaged listener.

To practice active listening, remove any distractions and focus fully on the speaker. Avoid interrupting or interjecting, and respond thoughtfully to what the speaker is saying. Show interest by asking questions and paraphrasing what they said.

Be Open-Minded

Being open-minded means being willing to consider new and different perspectives. It can help you learn and grow, reduce prejudices, and strengthen relationships.

Approach new situations, people, and perspectives with an open mind. Avoid making assumptions or judgments and be willing to learn and change based on new information or different perspectives.

Take Responsibility for Your Actions

Taking responsibility for your actions means acknowledging your mistakes, apologizing when necessary, and making amends. It demonstrates integrity, accountability, and trustworthiness, all of which are essential to building strong relationships.

When you make a mistake, apologize genuinely and take responsibility for your actions. Don’t blame others or make excuses. Instead, focus on making amends and rebuilding trust with those affected.

Focus on Your Intention

Intentions refer to the goals or purposes behind our actions. They can influence how we perceive others and how they perceive us. Understanding your intentions and making an effort to align them with your actions can help you build trust and communicate more effectively.

When communicating, consider your intentions behind your words or actions. Are you trying to build a relationship, solve a problem, or express yourself honestly? Make sure your words and actions match your intentions to avoid miscommunication and misunderstanding.

Be Mindful of Your Online Presence

In today’s digital age, our online presence can be just as impactful as our in-person presence. It’s essential to monitor our online presence and be mindful of how we portray ourselves on social media and other online platforms.

Take steps to ensure that your online presence is professional and aligns with your personal brand. Avoid posting anything that could be misinterpreted or perceived as negative, and be cautious about how you interact with others online.


Seeing yourself through others’ eyes can be challenging, but it’s a crucial aspect of building strong relationships and improving communication. By becoming self-aware, asking for feedback, observing non-verbal cues, putting yourself in others’ shoes, seeking out diverse relationships, practicing active listening, being open-minded, taking responsibility for your actions, focusing on your intentions, and monitoring your online presence, you can learn to see yourself more clearly through the eyes of others.

Common Questions and Answers:

  • Q: Can someone change how others see them?
  • A: Yes, by understanding how others see them and making an effort to change aspects of their behavior or communication that might be perceived negatively.
  • Q: Why is it important to see yourself as others do?
  • A: Seeing yourself through others’ eyes can help you build better relationships, improve your communication, and enhance your self-awareness.
  • Q: How do I know if my online presence is perceived negatively?
  • A: Monitor your social media accounts and online reviews regularly. Avoid anything that could be perceived negatively or that conflicts with your personal brand.
  • Q: How can I become more self-aware?
  • A: Start by reflecting on your behaviors and how they affect others. Seek out feedback from others, take personality tests, and practice mindfulness.


  • Whitaker, B. (2017). The power of intention: Learning to co-create your world your way. Simon and Schuster.
  • Robinson, L., & Segal, J. (2020). Self-awareness: How it develops and why it matters.
  • Taylor, J. D. (2017). Building cross-cultural competence: How to create wealth from conflicting values. Chatham House.
  • Social media: What’s the impact on your business? (2018, September 25). Hootsuite.

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