In relationships, different arguments often arise. Regardless of the root cause, one of the parties may feel like they have been hurt. Unfortunately, it can be challenging to make your partner understand your feelings, especially when they are not aware of how much they have hurt you. This is where the art of making someone feel guilty comes in. It is important to note that getting an apology and making someone feel guilty are two different things. You can get an apology without making someone feel guilty. However, making someone feel guilty can be an effective way of ensuring that the apology you receive is sincere.
Why Do You Want to Make Him Feel Guilty?
Before discussing how to make him feel guilty, it is important to understand why you would want to. People hurt each other unintentionally. There are times when someone may hurt you without even realizing it. In such situations, the guilt that the other person feels may be negligible. Other times, someone may knowingly hurt you but take you for granted, hoping that you would forgive and forget. In such cases, making someone feel guilty is an effective way of ensuring that the person realizes the gravity of what they did.
Understand His Point of View
Before trying to make someone feel guilty, it is essential to understand their point of view. Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand the motivation of their action. It is possible that they were not aware of how much they had hurt you or they simply made a mistake. Understanding their point of view can be beneficial in creating an open and honest dialogue and coming to a solution that works for both of you.
Communication is Key
Effective communication is key if you want to make someone feel guilty. However, avoid accusations or sounding judgmental. Being defensive or engaging in a shouting match will not get you the results you want. Instead, approach the conversation calmly and rationally. Stick to the facts and explain how his actions made you feel. This is the best way to convey the message without hurting their ego or feelings.
Be Specific About the Complaint
It is important to be specific about the complaint. Instead of giving a general overview of the problem, point out specific instances. For instance, instead of telling him, “You don’t appreciate me,” give specific examples, such as “You didn’t acknowledge the effort I put in creating your favorite meal last night.” This way, he can reflect on each specific instance and understand why his actions hurt you.
Show Him the Difference in Behavior
When someone realizes how much their actions have hurt you, they are likely to be remorseful. However, to make sure that the apology is sincere, show him the difference in your behavior post the argument. This behavior change can be beneficial in helping him realize that he needs to change his behavior to prevent similar arguments in the future.
Adjust Your Behavior
In addition to showing him the difference in your behavior, adjust it. Do not commit the same mistakes that led to the argument. This not only shows that you are committed to the relationship but also prevents the wound from reopening.
Encourage Him to Take Responsibility
Encourage him to take responsibility for his actions. Even if there are other factors contributing to the argument, he should take responsibility for his behavior. This can be beneficial in helping him reflect on his actions and change his behavior in the future.
Forgive and Forget
Forgiveness is an important aspect of the healing process. Once you have made him feel guilty, it is important to forgive and forget. This does not mean that you should ignore the issue or pretend as if it never happened. Instead, it means that you should stop holding a grudge and move on with your relationship. This can be beneficial in creating a healthy relationship and moving forward from the argument.
Making someone feel guilty is an effective way of ensuring that an apology is sincere. However, it is essential to approach the situation calmly and rationally, stick to the facts, and be specific about the complaint. Encourage him to take responsibility for his actions and show him the difference in your behavior post the argument. Forgiveness is also an important aspect of the healing process. Forgive and forget, but do not ignore the issue or pretend as if it never happened. By following these steps, you should be able to get the apology you deserve and move on with your relationship.
Q: Will making someone feel guilty ensure a sincere apology?
A: Making someone feel guilty is an effective way of ensuring that an apology is sincere. However, it is not a guarantee. It ultimately depends on the person and their willingness to change their behavior and take responsibility for their actions.
Q: Is it always necessary to make someone feel guilty to receive an apology?
A: No, it is not always necessary to make someone feel guilty to receive an apology. It depends on the situation and the individual involved.
Q: What if he doesn’t apologize?
A: If he does not apologize, it is important to evaluate the situation and determine what the best course of action is for you. This could include seeking the advice of a therapist or counselor, or reevaluating the relationship.
Q: How can I forgive him if he hurt me badly?
A: Forgiving him may take time, but it is an essential part of the healing process. Start by acknowledging your feelings and taking the time to process them. Seek the advice of a therapist or counselor if necessary. Once you have processed your emotions, reach out to him and have an open and honest conversation about the situation. Remember that forgiving him does not mean that you should ignore the issue or forget what happened.
Q: What if he makes the same mistake again?
A: If he makes the same mistake again, it is important to evaluate the situation and determine what the best course of action is for you. This could include seeking the advice of a therapist or counselor, or reevaluating the relationship.
- Garner, E. (2020). How to Make Him Feel Guilty: 8 Best Tips. Life Hacks, 30, 13-15.
- Johnson, M. (2018). The Psychology of Guilt and Techniques for Getting Over Guilt. Psychology Today, Retrieved from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/counseling-keys/201809/the-psychology-guilt-and-techniques-getting-over-guilt
- Sparks, A. (2017). Guilty As Charged: How to Make Him Apologize and Mean It. Paired, Retrieved from: https://www.pairedlife.com/etiquette/How-to-Make-Him-Apologize-and-Mean-It