Unrequited love or one-sided affection can sting. It feels different from ordinary heartbreak because the person you’re mourning was never really yours, to begin with. But the reality is that getting over someone whom you were never officially in a relationship with is a challenge. However, it’s not impossible. With the right mindset and tactics, you can move on, and here are five tips on how to do it.
1. Accept Your Emotions
The first step to getting over someone is acknowledging your feelings. Give yourself permission to feel the sadness, anger, or disappointment that arises. Denying or repressing your emotions will merely prolong the healing process. Processing your emotions is necessary for moving forward.
How to Process Your Emotions
To process your emotions healthily, allow yourself to grieve. You can journal, meditate, or talk to someone you trust about your feelings. Also, avoid judging yourself for how you feel. Remember, emotions are normal and natural reactions to situations, and you have every right to experience them.
2. Focus on Yourself
It’s easy to get lost in thoughts of the person you were never with, replaying imaginary scenarios in your head. However, dwelling on someone who is not interested in you will only hurt you more. So, focus on yourself instead.
- Exercise regularly: Physical activity helps reduce stress and anxiety, both of which are common after a break-up.
- Pamper yourself: Do things that bring you joy, whether it’s treating yourself to a spa day, binge-watching your favorite TV show, or reading a good book.
- Engage in new hobbies: Trying new things can spark creativity and bring excitement to your life. You might even find a new passion.
- Maintain healthy relationships: Surround yourself with people who uplift you and bring positivity into your life.
3. Set Boundaries
When you’re trying to move on from someone, it’s essential to set boundaries for yourself. It includes limiting your contact with the person, avoiding places that remind you of them, and muting or unfollowing them on social media.
Why Boundaries Matter
Setting boundaries is helpful for several reasons. Firstly, it reinforces to yourself that you’re worth more than someone who can’t reciprocate your feelings. Secondly, it eliminates the source of pain and allows you to heal quicker. Lastly, it’s a sign of self-respect and self-love, which are necessary for healthy relationships.
4. Reframe Your Thinking
It’s easy to get stuck in a negative thought spiral after a disappointment. However, reframing your perspective can help you move on.
How to Reframe Your Thinking
To reframe your thinking, focus on the positive aspects of your situation. Instead of dwelling on what didn’t work out, think about the opportunities that are now available to you. Maybe you’ll find someone who’s a better match or have more time to focus on your goals. Reframing your thinking can also help you appreciate the lessons you learned from your experience.
5. Seek Support
Finally, it’s crucial to remember that you’re not alone. Lean on your support system and seek professional help if necessary.
Where to Seek Support
- Talk to a trusted friend or family member who can listen without judgement.
- Join a support group or an online community of people who are going through similar experiences.
- Consider speaking to a therapist who can help you process your emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
Getting over someone you were never with is a challenging process, but with the right mindset and tools, it’s possible. Remember to accept your emotions, focus on yourself, set boundaries, reframe your thinking, and seek support whenever you need it.
Common Questions and Answers
- Q: How long does it take to get over someone you were never officially with?
- A: There’s no set timeline for healing from emotional pain. It varies from person to person and depends on several factors, such as the intensity of the feelings and the individual’s coping mechanisms. However, giving yourself time and space to process your emotions is necessary.
- Q: Can you be friends with someone you were never with?
- A: It depends on the individuals involved and their feelings. If one person still has romantic feelings for the other, friendship might be challenging or impossible. Setting clear boundaries and communicating honestly can be helpful if you choose to be friends.
- Q: How do I know if I’ve moved on?
- A: Moving on is not a one-time event but a continuous process. However, some signs that you’re healing include feeling less emotional intensity, having less frequent thoughts about the person, and being open to new relationships.