How to break the news: Death of a parent

Dealing with the death of a parent is a significant and life-altering experience. It is a moment that inspires much discomfort and grief that can be so overwhelming that one may not know how to handle the loss. It can be difficult to break the news to others, especially children. With that said, breaking the news of a parent’s death is one of the most challenging tasks a person can face. This article will shed light on how to approach the process of breaking the news to a child.

Understanding Grief and Bereavement

Before communicating a profound message of loss, it’s important to comprehend the concept of grief and bereavement. It is essential to understand that they are a process and that there is no set timeline. It’s a personal and unique journey that individuals handle in their way. Understanding this process can point to the child’s reaction to the news of a parent’s death.

The Stages of Grief

Although the process of grief and bereavement is unique to every individual, there are particular stages that were developed by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. Understanding these stages can help a person to navigate the process:

  • Denial and isolation
  • Anger
  • Bargaining
  • Depression
  • Acceptance

It is important to recognize that children may view death differently than adults. They may not be familiar with the different sets of emotions and could react differently from the accepted stages of grief.

How to Approach Breaking the News to a Child

Breaking the news of a parent’s death can be a difficult process, especially for a child. Thus, it’s essential to approach the subject with care and consideration. The following steps will help make the process more comfortable and manageable:

Give Details of the Incident and the Person’s Death

Children require to understand what has happened, and it’s important to be open about what happened. It is critical always to tell the truth in a way that is age-appropriate. Explain the cause of death and what happened in simple terms.

Be Available to Answer Questions and Listen

After breaking the news to a child, it’s essential to give them an opportunity to ask questions and express their feelings. Ensure that the child has adequate emotional support around to process their grief. The child may need additional support and reassurance since it is not an easy process.

Reassure the Child of Their Safety and Support

With such a significant loss, it’s essential for the child to know they are safe and have effective support. Reassure the child that although their parent is gone, they will be alright, and they can rely on you and the rest of the family for support.

Encourage the Child to Express their Feelings

Children may not be familiar with managing their emotions coherently. It is important to give them an opportunity to express themselves. They could write a letter to their deceased parents about their innermost feelings and concerns. This process helps to externalize and express all the mixed-up feelings they may experience.

What to Expect After Breaking the News to the Child

Children react differently to death, and how they react depends on the level of attachment they had with the deceased person. The responses and reactions can be varied; below are some examples of what to expect:

The Child May Go Through Emotional Turmoil

Children may find it challenging to accept the loss of a parent. They may experience feelings of shock, anger, guilt, shock, and sadness. It’s important that parents or guardians allow the child to experience every emotion and provide adequate emotional support.

The Child’s Behavior May Change

The child’s behavior may shift after losing a parent, which is an adjustment period. It is important to re-assure them that the support and love they receive from the family will not change, and they can always rely on them.

The Child May Need Professional Help

If the child continues to show signs of distress and anxiety even after the grieving period, getting professional help is essential. A child therapist can assist the child in expressing their feelings, helping them adjust, and guiding them through the grieving process comfortably.

Conclusion

Breaking the news of a parent’s death to a child is one of the most challenging tasks anyone can face. It is never easy and will undoubtedly evoke many mixed feelings and emotions. Therefore, it’s important to approach the subject with care and consideration. Remember, the grieving process is a unique journey; there is no set timeline, and individuals may react differently at various stages of the healing process.

Common Questions and Answers

  • Q: How do I explain death to my child?
    • A: It is important always to tell the truth in a way that is age-appropriate. Explaining the cause of death and what happened in simple terms.
  • Q: What support should I offer a child after breaking the news of a parent’s death?
    • A: It is important to provide a safe environment for the child to express themselves and understand that they are not alone.
  • Q: How do I know if my child needs professional help in dealing with the death of a parent?
    • A: A parent should keep a watchful eye on the child’s behavior, and if the child continues to show signs of anxiety and distress even after the grieving period, getting professional help is essential.

References

  • Kubler-Ross E. On death and dying. Routledge. 1969.
  • Currer C, Smith R, Burton R. Children and Bereavement. Oxford: Blackwell Publishing; 2002.
  • Bowlby J. Attachment and Loss, Volume 1: Attachment. 2nd edition. London: Hogarth Press; 1973.

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