How Does a Narcissist React When You Dump Him? The Explosive Truth!

Breaking up with a narcissist is no easy feat. Narcissists believe they are entitled to the best. They thrive on admiration and attention and hate to see it when their partner is not providing them with the worship they believe they deserve. Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and will often react explosively when they are dumped. So, what can you expect when you break up with a narcissist? Let’s explore the explosive truth of how a narcissist reacts when you end things with them.

The Initial Reaction: Denial

The first reaction a narcissist has when they are dumped is denial. They simply refuse to believe that it is happening. It is not uncommon for a narcissist to say that their partner is lying or mistaken. They will often delude themselves into thinking that the relationship is still viable and that their partner will come back to them.

What Causes Denial in Narcissists?

Denial is a coping mechanism that narcissists use to protect their fragile ego. They believe that they are perfect, and any rejection goes against the image they have of themselves. They would rather deny that the relationship is over than accept that they have been rejected.

The Blame Game: Projection and Gaslighting

After the initial denial, narcissists typically move into blame mode. They will try to twist the situation around and make their partner the one at fault. Narcissists often use projection, which is when they accuse their partner of doing something that they themselves are guilty of. They may also use gaslighting techniques to make their partner feel like they are the ones who are crazy.

What is Projection and Gaslighting?

Projection is a defense mechanism where a person attributes their thoughts and feelings to someone else. Narcissists use this technique to try to avoid responsibility for their actions. Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic where a person makes their partner question their own sanity by twisting the facts to suit their own agenda. It is a form of emotional abuse that leaves the victim feeling confused and helpless.

The Narcissistic Injury: The Ego Bruise

When a narcissist is dumped, it is a severe blow to their ego. They feel as though they have been rejected by someone who is inferior to them. This can cause them to react in a variety of ways, from severe anger to depression.

Why do Narcissists Get So Upset?

Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance, and any rejection goes against the image they have of themselves. They believe that they are better than anyone else and deserve only the best. When someone rejects them, it is a severe blow to their ego, and they feel as though they have been wronged.

The Hoovering Technique: Trying to Get You Back

After a narcissist has been dumped, they will often try to get their partner back. This is known as the hoovering technique, and it can be incredibly manipulative. The narcissist will typically use the same tactics that they did when they were in the relationship, such as love-bombing, lying, and guilt-tripping.

What is the Hoovering Technique?

The Hoovering Technique is a manipulation tactic that narcissists use to try to get their partners back. They will often use flattery, love-bombing, and lying to try to get their partner to come back to them.

The Narcissistic Rage: Explosive Anger

If the hoovering technique does not work, narcissists can become incredibly angry. This is known as narcissistic rage, and it can be explosive. Narcissists will often lash out at their partner and may even become violent.

Why do Narcissists Get So Angry?

Narcissists have an over-inflated sense of self-esteem, and any rejection goes against the image they have of themselves. When their partner leaves them, it is a severe blow to their ego, and they may react with rage to try to regain some control.

Moving On: Breaking Free from a Narcissist

Moving on from a narcissist is not easy, but it is possible. It is essential to remember that the narcissist is reacting to their own fears and insecurities and that their reactions are not a reflection of their partner.

How Can You Move on from a Narcissist?

  • Seek therapy to help you understand the dynamics of the relationship.
  • Learn to set healthy boundaries and stick to them.
  • Surround yourself with supportive and loving people who will help you heal.
  • Avoid contact with the narcissist as much as possible.
  • Focus on self-care and self-love.

The Most Common Questions and Answers

  • Q: Can a narcissist change if they are dumped by their partner?
  • A: It is unlikely that a narcissist will change, even if they are dumped. Narcissism is a personality disorder that is difficult to treat.
  • Q: How should I break up with a narcissist?
  • A: It is important to plan the breakup carefully and stick to your boundaries. The best approach is usually to be honest but firm.
  • Q: Will a narcissist try to ruin me after I break up with them?
  • A: Narcissists may try to ruin their ex-partner’s reputation after a breakup. It is essential to surround yourself with supportive people and stay calm and rational.

Breaking up with a narcissist is never easy, but it is possible. Remember to focus on your own healing and well-being and seek support from loved ones and professionals. Most importantly, understand that the narcissist’s reactions are not a reflection of you, but rather their fears and insecurities.


  • Hotchkiss, S. (2016). Why Is It Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism. Simon and Schuster.
  • Simon, G. K., & Kirmayer, L. J. (2009). The pathogenesis of narcissistic personality disorder: toward an evidence-based application of object relations theory. Psychodynamic psychiatry, 37(3), 363-386.
  • Strean, H. S. (2014). Treating the Narcissistic Partner: A Summary of Three Approaches. Journal of Mental Health Counseling, 36(2), 87-98.

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