Does he really love me or is he using me? Decode his actions.
Love is a complex emotion and can lead us to be unsure about the intentions of our partner. It can be tough to distinguish genuine love from someone who is just using you for their own gain. Understanding a person’s true intentions is not always an easy task, but some visible signs can help you decode whether or not he truly loves you or is just using you. In this article, we will go over some crucial signs that can help you identify if he is with you for love or just for personal benefit.
1. He Respects You
Respect is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If he respects you, then this indicates that he values and cares about your opinion, feelings and boundaries. A person who loves you would never dismiss your emotions and feelings or put you down.
How to recognise he respects you?
- Does he listen actively when you speak?
- Does he show an interest in your opinion and not dismiss your ideas?
- Does he accept your decision when you say ‘no’?
If you answered ‘yes’ to these questions, then you can be sure that he respects you as a person and values your input in a relationship.
2. He gives you attention
If a person is in love with you, they will want to spend as much time as possible with you. This is because they enjoy your company, and they love being around you. If you feel that your partner is giving you just enough time, then this could indicate that he is not in love with you.
How to recognise he is giving you attention?
- Does he show up for important events such as birthdays or anniversaries?
- Does he make an effort to plan dates?
- Does he actively listen when you talk and show interest in what you have to say?
3. He shows affection
Affection is a crucial part of being in a loving relationship. It doesn’t necessarily mean that he needs to be overly affectionate, but he should display his love through his words, actions and body language.
How to recognise he is showing affection?
- Does he say ‘I love you’ to you often?
- Does he make physical contact with you such as holding hands, hugging or kissing?
- Does he compliment you on your appearance and show appreciation for the things you do for him?
4. He Empowers You
If he is truly in love with you, then he will be your biggest cheerleader. A person who loves you will support your dreams and aspirations and will help you achieve your goals. He should provide you with emotional and financial support as well as give you the space you need to fulfil your dreams.
How to recognise he is empowering you?
- Does he actively listen to your dreams and aspirations?
- Does he encourage you to fulfil your ambitions even if it means he is not involved?
- Does he make sacrifices to help you achieve your goals?
5. He Communicates Honestly
Honest communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If he is truly in love with you, then he will communicate honestly with you no matter how uncomfortable the conversation may be. He will not hide anything from you and will always be open and truthful.
How to recognise he is communicating honestly?
- Does he tell you the truth even if it means he may get in trouble?
- Does he put effort into resolving conflicts rather than avoiding them?
- Does he share important information with you without being asked?
6. He Makes an Effort
Effort is one of the key ingredients in any loving relationship. If he is making an effort to keep the relationship healthy and thriving, then this indicates that he is truly in love with you. This could be in the form of small gestures such as bringing you your favourite food or grander gestures such as taking time off from work to be with you.
How to recognise he is making an effort?
- Does he go out of his way to make you happy?
- Does he make plans for the future together?
- Does he take time off to be with you when you need him most?
7. He is Consistent
When in love, people will consistently put effort into the relationship. They will not have a string of bad days, and their actions will remain constant, no matter how good or bad the day has been. Consistency is a clear indication that he is committed to the relationship and that he is not using you for his own gain.
How to recognise he is consistent?
- Does he show the same level of commitment throughout the month, year or type of day?
- Does he dedicate the same amount of time and energy consistently?
- Does he keep his word no matter what?
It can be difficult to determine if a person truly loves you or is using you for personal gain. However, by looking out for the signs mentioned in this article, you can begin to decode your partner’s actions and determine his true intentions.
9. Frequently Asked Questions
What are the signs of an unhealthy relationship?
- Excessive jealousy or possessiveness
- Controlling behaviour
- Frequent arguments
- Physical or emotional abuse
What should I do if I suspect he is using me?
If you suspect he is using you, then it’s best to communicate with him and express your concerns. If he cannot address your concerns, then it’s best to put your own interests first and end the relationship.
Is it possible to love someone and still use them?
Yes, it is possible to love someone and still use them for personal gain. However, this is not healthy, and it’s important to note that relationships should always be mutual and have healthy boundaries.